I don't understand why life is so unfair????? I have had trouble after trouble for the last 2 months. If first finding out that the three months you thought you pregant you were only for a short time...try having multiple d&c's for the same failed pregnancy. It has been 6 weeks since the first procedure, and after 3 weeks of not healing I discovered that I would need a second procedure to remove a clot that had formed. Well, it has been another 3 weeks and I am still not healed. I have another doctor's appointment tomorrow to see what the problem is. Feelings of depression have over come me at this point, and feeling like life just couldn't get any worse....could it???
To me it can, will and has!!!!!!!!!! I just found out that my sister (with whom I am not speaking to for various reasons) is awaiting the news on whether or not she is pregnant. My sister apparently started trying after she found out I was pregnant as she tries to do everything that I do. Now, I don't mean to be harsh, but she is living with/sleeping with a cousin a of ours that is closely related enough to attend our family functions, and she gets blessed with having a baby and I lose mine. What did I do to deserve this???? She does not the deserve the child she already has, she leaves her unattended (illegaly as Cailtin is not old enough)and without no phone for emergencies. See, my sister cannot get a phone, or cable, or power hooked up in her own name as she has outstanding bills with all of the above. I must be awful, but I am not happy for her. I am devestated that this has happen. I have worked so hard to get everything I have in life, a good husband, a good career, good friends, and a family. My sister cheats the welfare system, borrows money from everyone she knows without ever paying back, lies,betrays, and steals and she gets the one things that I want more than anything.
I'm sorry for this blog, and soon I will delete it, but for now I just need to get this off of my chest.
2 comments:
Babygirl, don't you dare delete it. These are your feelings and deserve to be verbalized. Don't nullify yourself by deleting it and swallowing it down. and don't apologise either. You deserve to be pissed at the world.
Things will get better but right now, its good to vent. Vent your brains out. If you need an ear gimme a call. I love you and am very glad you are part of my family.
As I've recently learned this week, sometimes you need to vent to your blog so your feelings don't eat you up. I'm sorry you have to go through this, what a hard time.
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